Urgent System Status: The Great Rodent Migration
[INCIDENT REPORT] Delay in Tariff Updates and Email Dispatch
Status: Ongoing
Impact: 4 Million Accounts (Medium-to-Squeaky)
"Hi everyone,
As many of you have noticed, there’s a bit of a lag in the 4-million-email rollout and some IHDs are still showing yesterday’s rates. As (self-appointed) Head of IT, I’ve been digging into the back-end logs with Kaluza and the DCC tonight, and I have some 'interesting' news.
The Root Cause: It turns out the Legacy Hamster-Wheel Servers (the ones that handle the SMTP handshakes and SMETS2 commands) reached a critical 12,000 RPM during the midnight price-drop batch job. Unfortunately, the Hamster Union (HU Local 101) has officially staged a walkout, demanding a 15% increase in sunflower seed subsidies and better bedding. We remain in talks with their Union Representative, Pilar Loofs, in order to find a resolution but the lack of sunflower supplies is severely hampering talks.
The Mitigation: To keep the £1,641 price cap migration on track, OVO Engineering has performed a 'Hot Swap' to Enterprise-Grade Guinea Pigs. While they have 4x the processing power, the 'Wheek-Wheek' latency is slightly higher than we anticipated.
What this means for you:
Emails: Are currently being hand-typed by the Bristol team as the Guinea Pigs learn the QWERTY layout.
IHDs: Please do not feed your smart meter actual lettuce; the digital interface handles the nutrition automatically.
The Evidence: We’ve managed to get a live feed from the new Guinea Pig Network Operations Centre (NOC). You can check the real-time processing status and see the new hardware in action via this secure OVO link.
